Wedding Nightmares

My alarm didn’t even get a chance to go off this morning. I sprang out of bed faster than you can say “breakfast is ready!” only it wasn’t so that I could eat.

I had a nightmare, a horrible, stomach-pain inducing wedding related nightmare. I am pretty sure I spent at leads 5 hours last night living through what had to have been the most ridiculous wedding ever, and it was my dream wedding too. Who says dreams are all white clouds and children laughing and lollipops?! 

My dream wedding began with rain, and we are having an outdoor wedding. In the dream, we had no back-up plan. We just had raindrops.

I forgot to wear my wedding dress and was instead outfitted in an old skirt and wrapped tee. Gross. Instead od having an artfully lit backyard, the wedding party was seated in a collapsing shed and the backyard has nary a light, nary a chair, nary an anything wedding-esque detail. It just looked like a plain backyard.

The choral group we chose to perform in this dream was all under the age of 7. There angelic voices were lovely until one kid punched another. Then there was a brawl, a brawl during my wedding.

When it came time for the preacher to speak, he was cut off by some woman who we didn’t invite who decided to take the front with her own microphone to tell a story unrelated to us or the wedding. She ended by falling backward into her husband, accidentally punching him in the eye.

Another family friend appeared and approached us with two ice cream cones that e had to eat in front of everyone during the ceremony. The preacher tried to talk again but was cut off by a magical plastic castle that appeared out of nowhere.

A family friend of my Stepfather sprang from the orange door dresses as “Puss in Boots,” with a pretty Asian woman dresses as Rapunzel on his arm. He chided us for not inviting him then stopped us up into the plastic kingdom which had a detachable wagon inside. All of a sudden we were hurdling down some country scene, full of rolling hills, at full speed, at leads for a Fisher Price plastic wagon anyway.

The police pulled us over and I lost it. Luckily the officer felt bad for me and let Chris and I go. We ran 6 miles back to the ceremony.

I woke up. It was just a dream.

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One thought on “Wedding Nightmares

  1. Thank God you woke up before anymore wedding disasters. I love that Pussinboots and Rapunzel showed up. Did you send them invitations?

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